girlonthelasttrain

I didn't do a yearly roundup of my fic writing output before the end of 2023 because I was preoccupied with other things, so here it is now, crossposted from girlonthelasttrain.
In 2023

• I posted 5 stories, 4 in English and 1 in Italian
• for a total of ~53,700 words, the most I've posted in one calendar year ever since I started posting fic online
• 2 fics for Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, 1 for Star Trek: Voyager, 1 for Star Trek: Picard and finally, after many years of only writing Trek-related fic, 1 for Wheel of Time (TV)
• all are f/f (because in this at least I'm very consistent), and two of the stories feature polyamory
• the longest fic is Best Left (~38,400 words, the longest fic I've ever posted so far) and the shortest is Sotto il Passo Ratosha (~1200 words)

Some thoughts about each fic below!

Mistaken for Strangers (Star Trek: DS9, Kimara Cretak/Kira Nerys, ~1700 words)

Kira calls for the Habitat Ring, Guest Sector with more mixed feelings than her usual fare. It’s not that she blames Ezri, or anyone else for that matter, for assuming things about her enmity with the Romulan senator; they wouldn’t understand. In all honesty Kira isn’t sure she does, either. She remembers all too clearly how it was to be on the other side.

Written for the Rare Femslash Exchange 2022, this is the latest entry in my longstanding Kira/Cretak series. It was fun to imagine Kira as a young, and (understandably) rigid, freedom fighter and contrast her with Kira's current predicament (ie, enjoying a secret sexual relationship with Romulan Senator a little too much for her own good).


Even when I am not, I am (Star Trek: Voyager, Seven of Nine/B'Elanna Torres + established Harry Kim/Tom Paris/B'Elanna Torres, ~9,600 words)

B’Elanna turns back to the console and resumes entering commands into it with grim determination. Harry watches her in silence, once again unsure what to do. There is clearly something bothering B’Elanna, there’s no doubt about it now, and it’s deeper than he thought.

Once again written for the Rare Femslash Exchange 2022, this one is kind of niche fic. The prompt specifically mentioned the Voyager novel “String Theory: Cohesion” which is an incredibly fun romp for B'Elanna/Seven fans. In it, the girls are forced to become a ‘collective of two’—essentially telepathically connected—and I wanted to explore the fallout from that with a bit of a personal spin. I love telepathy tropes, I'm fascinated by the idea of mind-sharing and horrified that anyone could know someone else's innermost thoughts, or even get lost in them. I was reading a lot of Gloria Anzaldúa when I wrote this (the title comes from “Borderlands/La Frontera”) and I thought that B'Elanna, who all her life has been forced to live on the margins, would especially not react well to that kind of identity-erasing experience, while also being forced to confront a latent attraction which has come to the front.


Sotto il Passo Ratosha (Star Trek: DS9, Jadzia Dax/Kira Nerys, ~1200 words)

Si guardò intorno, come stordita; si era nascosta lì per un rastrellamento quindici anni prima, buttandocisi dentro con il fucile, e ora era tornata e aveva in mano quello stesso fucile. Eppure la cesura fra i due momenti non poteva essere più ampia.

I wrote this for the None English Fest 2023, based on the first chapter of an autobiographical novel on the Italian Resistance to the Nazi occupation (“I Piccoli Maestri” by Luigi Meneghello). I admit I haven't translated it yet because I now feel pretty ambivalent about having connected an explicit narrative of decolonization like the Bajoran struggle to this particular page of Italian history (which was not that). The reference is still meaningful to me personally, and it fits the characters and Kira and Jadzia very well imho, but it's perhaps best left as an exercise that very few people will be able to read.
That being said, in 2023 I realized just how much Italian I'm forgetting; carrying even a slightly involved conversation has become pretty challenging and my vocabulary is shrinking rapidly. Writing this short fic was not a small effort. I want to try and write (and read!) in Italian more often in 2024. And if you're reading this as an ESL fic writer: this is your sign to write more in your native language. Do It. Don't let English monopolize your creative output.
 

Best Left (Star Trek: Picard, Raffi Musiker/Seven of Nine + Seven of Nine/B'Elanna Torres + Raffi Musiker/B'Elanna Torres, ~38,400 words)

She’s older now, and out of uniform, looking much worse for wear after what she just went through. But there had been a time more than twenty years prior when her face had been on every Federation newsfeed, along with the rest of the crew of the USS Voyager.
“You know her?”
Raffi turns to Soji, frozen in bemusement beside Emil. “I’ve never met her but yes, I know who she is,” Raffi says. “You two stay here and keep an eye on things. Seven needs to see this.”

Written for the Rare Pair Exchange 2023, with this fic I brought my current OTP (B'Elanna/Seven) into the Picard timeline while also falling a little bit in love with Raffi and learning to appreciate S1 of the Picard show, despite my many complaints. I won't lie, writing this fic was hysterical, challenging, crazy fun and it broke me a little bit. I still can't say whether or not I'm proud of how it turned out; while writing it felt like I was courting disaster at every turn, and it would've certainly benefited from a better drafting process. Still, it is one of the most ambitious projects I've ever undertaken, and I feel like I didn't completely fumble the ending, so there's that. If you read it, please let me know—I'd love to hear what you thought of it, good and bad.


Master's Apprentices (Wheel of Time (TV), Lanfear/Liandrin Guirale + Liandrin Guirale/Moiraine Damodred, ~2700 words)

“All your life you have sought power out of fear,” she murmurs distractedly, as if finding the truth of your existence in braids you don’t remember plaiting. Then, her eyes meet yours again, solemn. “But no more. I found you out, Liandrin. I know every one of your secrets. There is no need for you to hide any longer.”

Written for the Femslash Exchange 2023, I admit this fic caught me by surprise. I've written for years in the same extended universe (Star Trek), and I wasn't sure I would be able to wade into a completely different setting. So in order to get over myself I tried something I had wanted to attempt for a very long time, second person POV. I think it fit well the ‘dreamscape’ I was trying to evoke, and I'm glad I took this route. Liandrin is a fascinating character to write for me, too. I share more than a few personality traits with her (most relevant for this fic her inability to get over old feelings—I still regularly dream about my ex, despite the fact that our breakup almost fifteen years ago was hardly amicable), so it wasn't difficult to relate to her or realize that I could make the same terrible choices, or be preyed on by someone figuring out my weaknesses, if I don't take a principled stand. I had fun writing this fic.